


The One Where Pepper Leaves and Tony Has Trouble Getting Used to the Idea

by Dillian



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: ...sort of, About Love Loss and Sex, But if he's still in a relationship with her..., Crack-ish, Established Relationship Tony-Loki, F/M, M/M, Pepper Leaves, Semi-Plotted Drabbles, Then isn't what he's doing with Loki cheating?, Tony Can't Let Go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2017-12-24 20:05:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 15,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillian/pseuds/Dillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...But Loki helps.</p><p>Post <i>Avengers</i>, post <i>Iron Man 3</i>, post the hypothetical moment that comes afterward -- That's got to come, I am very sure of it. -- where Tony builds a new suit, and Pepper moves out, because let's face it, Tony's got to be pretty hard to live with.  Also post whatever happens in <i>Thor: The Dark World</i>, because a powerful Loki, on the loose again, and with some free time sometimes, in between Acts of Villainy, is kind of an awesome concept.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pizza Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hap texts Tony.

**_The Avengers_ ,  _Iron Man_ , and  _Thor_ , and all situations and characters thereof, belong strictly and solely to Marvel Comics. This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.**

Okay, so here’s how he knows it’s over: It’s when he comes upstairs for a break while he’s working on the Mark 1.0. It has …maybe been a little while since he came upstairs, like 12 or 14 hours or so, but the new design doesn’t exactly fit together the same way the old ones did, and some things you can only find out by putting them together and giving them a try.

…So he comes upstairs: Order a pizza. Check, is there… Yeah, there’s one more six-pack left in the fridge. Samuel Adams. Pepper’s beer. Left over from before she moved out in August. Head into the bathroom, unzip and get a little relief. Then he comes out, and it occurs to him to check his cell phone.

Thumb it on, and there’s this message waiting for him: “I’ve been wanting to ask Pepper out ever since you broke up. Is that okay with you, Tony?”

And he’s like, “Huh?” “Broke up” is  _not_  the same thing as “moved out”. Pepper couldn’t take his noise. She couldn’t take the mess everyplace. And he got tired of always having to worry about her, whenever there was a new super-villain in town. They aren’t  _broken up_ , she’s just living in her apartment in Brentwood again, and he’s still right here, just a few short miles west, on Sunset Boulevard.

So he looks, and it’s Happy, who sent the message. Good old Hap, who never was too good with technology. “You sent an old message, dude,” he texts back. “When’s this from, 2010? 2011?”

And then he’s on into the bathroom for a shower, and he doesn’t think any more about the message until he’s toweled off and dressed, and he’s got one of Pep’s beers open on the coffee table in front of him. And that’s when it occurs to him that Happy carries a new model Stark-phone, one of the ones from 2012. And he’s like, “Did I have trouble with Pep in 2012? Well, there was the thing about the rabbit… But she forgave me for that one, after we escaped from Killian.  _Since_  then maybe?” But he can’t think of anything.

So that’s when the doorbell rings and the pizza is there. And he’s not really all that surprised that it’s Loki carrying it. He’d heard Thor’s wicked half-brother was on the loose again, and he usually shows up here sooner or later, when he’s in between evil missions. “You left the pizza guy alive this time, right?” he says.

Little snerk from the Asgardian with the pizza. “I even paid him.”

“Lucky mortal.” Tony takes the Meat-Lover’s Supreme over to the coffee table. He cracks open a Sam Adams for Loki, and hands him some napkins. “Listen, if your bodyguard thinks you and your girlfriend have broken up, do you think that means you have?”

And Loki looks at him over a slice of pizza. “You want me to kill her for you?”

“No, just…” It’s only now that it starts to sink in, and Tony takes a big bite and chews until the feelings go away. “Why would she do that? What did I ever do to her?”

Loki finishes his pizza. He drinks a Sam Adams in one or two big gulps. “I could kill the bodyguard.”

”No, man, that’s okay.” Although it feels good to have someone offer to do things for  _him_ , for a change. “But …you know… I’m single now, I guess. What should I do?”

Sneaky smile, from the Asgardian with the pizza grease above his upper lip. “I can think of some things.” He says that, and about two seconds later, Tony’s tasting pizza and beer on his tongue, and feeling how soft his hair is, even with all the product he uses. And a while after that, he’s seeing how pale his skin is under his clothes, and touching the scars on his arms (from combat-practice with Thor), and kissing the big one on his side (from when he was with Thanos). …And after that, other stuff happens.


	2. Red Roses for a Peppery Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Only she never gets them)

The roses are for Pepper. Big vase full of them, sitting on that antique sideboard-thing she got at the auction in San Marino. That sideboard-thing that she still hasn’t taken, so that means she’s coming back, right? Anyway, she’ll be here for dinner, and he can ask about the sideboard then  ~~(But he won’t, because if she takes it, that’s the last thing holding her here)~~.  So Loki goes over to the sideboard, and he’s like, “Red roses. Dare I think they’re for me, Stark?”

And he’s like, “Well you can think that.” Loki’s funny sometimes, and it’s hard to tell what’ll piss him off. For instance, that time The Avengers found the test tubes with his DNA, in Doom’s lab, and they destroyed them, he got all mad. Then Tony says, “I got you this,” and he holds out the box of chocolate-dipped strawberries (Special trip to Fannie Mae; it’s Pep that’s allergic to strawberries, Loki’s allergic to  _Thor_ ).

Loki takes them, and he barely even looks at them. His eyes are on the roses. “They’re for your girlfriend. Your  _ex-_ girlfriend.”

_Hey, don’t rub it in, Chaos-Boy. Who is it, always going on and on about, “Oh, I was the rightful King of Asgard”? Who’s that? Don’t tell me about living in the past._

So Loki reaches out one of his long, white hands (that have been …oh god, so many places, all over Tony’s whole body, and that feel …so good), and he takes one of the roses. –  _Pepper’s_  roses. – “I care this, for your ex-girlfriend.” Poink, poink, poink, off come three of the petals. “She’s not coming back.” Pick-pick, and scatter-scatter-scatter, and there go all the rest of the petals, all over the floor. They’re kind of pretty, down there. “I’m here, and she’s not. These are my roses.” And he scoops up all of them into his arms. And these are some  _prickly_  roses, Tony got stuck by one of them, just adjusting them in the vase, but Loki’s fought bilgesnapes, what does he care about a few thorns? “Come,” he says, and the next thing you know, he and Tony are in the bedroom.

In  _Pepper’s_  bedroom (does it still count as hers, when she hasn’t been here in over a month?). And Loki’s sitting on her side of the bed. And he’s picking the petals off all of those roses, and he’s spreading them, all over the bed. And then he does one of those zappy-things, and his clothes are gone, and there’s his white body, against the red rose petals. “My roses,” he says, “and my bed.”

He is awful hot, all naked like that. His mouth and his hardon are almost the same color as the roses. Then he does the zappy-thing again, and all Tony’s clothes are on the floor. And you know, he could waste time getting mad about it, because it’s sort of bossy if you think about it, but what the hell, it’s 1:00, and Pepper’s coming at 6:00. There are better ways of spending the next five hours.

”For right now,” Tony says, and he sits down on the bed next to Loki. He pulls out the lube and the condoms. Lots of condoms, because he knows how this is going to go. “Your bed, and your roses, and your Tony, to do whatever you want with. But you magic me some new roses before Pepper gets here, deal?”

Loki’s soft lips, against his throat. “She’s not coming back to you, Stark.” But he’s the God of Lies, what else is he going to say?


	3. Heli-Carrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody controls the God of Chaos.

**_The Avengers_ , _Iron Man_ , and _Thor_ , and all situations and characters thereof, belong strictly and solely to Marvel Comics. This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.**

Heli-Carrier. SHIELD Headquarters. Extra-judicial blah-blah-blah. Essentially, what it means is if they do something to piss off the brass, up goes their little Heli-Carrier out into international water, or high enough in the air that they're out of American airspace. It is, of course, the last possible place you should bring a supervillain (but that's exactly what makes it fun).

Tony doesn't usually get as drunk as this. Drunk's not a good look on a guy. You get all sloppy and careless, and you do stupid things ~~(like bringing war criminals into SHIELD Headquarters)~~. But Pepper never showed tonight, and he had these reservations, so he finally ended up taking Loki instead. – And by the way, can we take a moment and notice how he's rocking that Armani suit, that he conjured out of nothing, when Tony said they were going out? Man's got _style_ , whatever else you can say about him. – ...So yeah, so Loki's idea of a quiet evening out involves a little more drinking than Pepper's (and a little less quiet), which is how it happens, that it's 3:00 AM, and they're visiting the Heli-Carrier.

If you think about it, it's SHIELD's fault. What kind of super-secret government organization leaves their HQ unguarded at 3:00 AM? The kind that wants to get broken into, am I right? I mean, can I get an _amen_ , brothers and sisters?

...There's actually one night watchman. Loki does something to him. Tony's not sure what, but he's promised it didn't hurt him any, and Tony ...almost thinks he can trust him. ...Actually, he hears the guy snoring as they go by him, so that's okay, that's cool.

Then they're on-board. Loki's like, “All this equipment, all these mortal gadgets.” And he has to touch all of them as they go by, and he's _looking_ at everything, like, “I see you got the Mjolnir-dents out of the door,” and, “Oh, you've replaced the Holding Cell where I trapped my brother.”

Tony's like, “You're not taking notes, are you? And you're going to go tell Doom everything you've seen as soon as you say good-bye?”

He's leaning against Fury's desk, at the moment, with his shirt-collar open, and Loki's hands halfway down his back. “Would you care?” Loki says, with his lips against his throat.

”Well yeah,” Tony has to admit. “After all, it is my safety at stake.” But he doesn't push Loki away, and he doesn't stop fiddling with his belt, trying to get his pants open.

“Doom fools himself, if he thinks the God of Chaos is his to command,” Loki says. With his lips against Tony's throat, and his pants wide-open in front, and both Tony's hands wrapped around his very impressive hardon. “I am my own man, and none control me.”

“Admit it.” – Zip-zip, there go Tony's pants too. There they go, in a pool of expensive, bespoke tailoring on the floor, and there's the billionaire playboy-industrialist standing there with his ass hanging out, and the backs of his legs getting cold. – “You're just with me because you know I'll do whatever you want, aren't you?”

For a long time, Loki's quiet. – Not completely quiet. There are the sucking noises. And the dick-rubbing noises. And the bumping-against-Fury's-desk noises. – “Yeah,” he says at last. “That's why I'm with you, Stark.” But he cuddles up so close, so goddamn close, and after that neither of them talks any more, for a long time.


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...And the Asgardian-spanking that ensues there.

All right, so Heli-Carrier. So Heli-Carrier for, like, 2-3 hours. Sun comes up, Tony's like, “we'd better get out of here. Loki, come back to my place.” Loki does. Ironman suit. The new one (and was JARVIS pissed about him taking it with half the circuits still not done!). Nifty little doo-dad for getting home when you're still tanked from the night before.

And Tony's like, “You think Fury will notice the condom on his chair?” (That he only remembered after they were halfway home, and he was looking at the lights of Covina from the sky.)

And Loki's like, “Yes. Also the one on his desk, and the three you left on the floor in the Holding Cell. The question is, will he mention them to you, Stark?”

He will. One more reason not to get drunk right there: One, maybe two fewer martinis, and they'd have all gone in the trash where they belonged. He'd have been sitting on top of the world, just flying home for a little more mad villain-sex the way he ought to be, this time of night, instead of staring at the prospect of a lecture (which Fury will probably give him in front of the rest of The Avengers). But oh well. Tomorrow's another day. For now, they're going home.

Swoosh-swoosh-swoosh through the sky, and then plop-plop-plop down on the balcony, that's still got the two chaise longues on it, the really comfy ones ~~(that Pepper picked out. That she's not here to use any more.)~~. Dark blue and tan: Really boring colors for furniture, but they're brightened up no end, when they've got Loki on one of them, and the pieces of his suit scattered all around, nearby. Also they solve the problem he was having about keeping his balance. _Definitely_ too many martinis tonight.

And Tony shoves his chaise longue very close to Loki's. And he plops down on it (just a little quicker than he expected). And he reaches out for that long, skinny supervillain-body, and goes to plant a kiss on the pale neck, under all the dark hair. “Well, here we are,” he says. “Home sweet home.”

And Loki's mouth is against Tony's chest; whatever he's saying comes out, “Mumble-mumble-mumble.” Tony's not even sure if it matters.

Some part of his brain is nosy though. ”What was that?” he hears himself saying(with his own lips still under that spicy-scented villain-hair, against that soft, pale, villain-throat).

Nothing. – Tony's mouth moves lower. – More nothing. – A little lower. – Still more nothing. – Low enough that he's going to have a villain-nipple in his mouth any second now. Loki _squeals_ when you do that; he sounds just like a little kid. – Then, “Don't talk of home, Stark,” and Loki sits up on his chaise longue, dislodging Tony's mouth (and his arms, for that matter).

Because he doesn't have a home himself any more, right? Because his father said... – What was it he said? – “I'm disinheriting you...” Something like that? No more home, no more family... If he were a sensitive guy, Tony would probably hug him right now, and say, “I feel your pain.” But all the sensitivity went away, a few martinis ago.

“Don't go all emo on me, Loki,” he says instead. “Not right when we're about to fuck.”

He feels Loki's nails dig into his back. Deep, deeper... A little deeper, and there'd be some serious blood flowing, but fortunately Loki bites his nails. Sensitive-Part tells him that Loki definitely needs comforting, but Sensitive-Part isn't that strong at the best of times. Drunk-Part of his brain tells him this is hot as hell, and there'd better be some fucking coming _soon_. Finally, Loki lets go. And he gets up, and goes to the kitchen, and he comes back with a bottle of something (Chateuneuf-du-Pape, that he got to share with Pepper, only she left).

“I should not expect too much of you,” Loki says. “After all, you are only a mortal,” and he magics the cork out of the wine and takes a long drink. He holds out the bottle. “You want some, Stark?”

But sometimes, against all odds, a little bit of good sense manages to crawl to the top of your brain, and Tony says, “No thanks, I think I've had enough.” Because that was an Asgardian-spanking he just got, and not the good kind, either.


	5. Sunday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On leaving, and people not. And Asgardian hangovers.

Tony wakes up, and hes got his arms wrapped around someone's warm body, and his nose buried in their soft, spicy-smelling hair. “Warm” he thinks. Then someone moves, and their big feet kick his ankles, and Tony opens his eyes, and it's Loki.

He can't decide if he's glad about this, or sorry. Pepper would have been better. ~~– But it wouldn't have been Pepper, Pepper's gone. She's gone, gone, gone... Why the _fuck_ is she gone? – ~~ Pepper doesn't wriggle around like that in her sleep, and she knows where the Advil is, and right now the hangover from last night is really starting to kick in. Besides, Loki never stays. He's got his villain-shit that he does. ...On the other hand, at least it's _somebody_. And not a crap-ton of floozies, that he's going to have to pay to get rid of, or nobody, and he wakes up, and the bed's all empty.

Wriggly, kick-y Loki turns a little, under his arm. Then his head's on Tony's shoulder, and his face is looking up at his. Long black lashes, against pale villain-cheeks, check. Faint smile on the villain-face, not a crafty smile, or a dangerous smile, but just a _smile_. A peaceful smile.

Baby-smile. Innocent, comfy smile. He'll go back to sleep with him, if the hangover lets him. They can play together, in whatever innocent dreamland is inside that pretty head of his. And if Tony tilts his head just so, his head is against Loki's hair. And one hand's convenient for stroking Loki's cheek, the other can just reach to stroke his right arm. Smooth, even strokes. ...And the soft skin under his fingers.

What day is it? Is it Saturday? Well, he got the diodes for the Mark 1.0 on Thursday. – There are some lines of thought you should avoid, when you're trying to get back to sleep, but try telling that to your brain, once it gets going. – And... When did he get Happy's text? ...Aw fuck, Happy's text. ...And aw fuck, out late last night with Loki. And it was Saturday night, because the sign said “Saturday Night: All Well Drinks, $3.00.” And he had to explain to Loki why he didn't want them, and why it paid to order the good stuff. ...And then he acted like an asshole to him, when they were making out last night. Shit.

 ~~Loki's going to leave just like Pepper.~~ Fuck. Goddamn Stark. Goddamn asshole. Loki doesn't have a home any more. Least you can do is show some sympathy... – In passing, can we ask whether he actually _needs_ a home? Isn't he busy running around doing villain-stuff most of the time anyway? – ...All you do is act like a jerk ~~(and make everyone you love go away)~~.

But Tony just keeps stroking the soft villain-skin. And the hangover stays quiet enough that he's fairly comfortable. And after a while, Loki starts wriggling around some more, and then he's awake.

”Sunday morning, Pretty Mary Frost-Giant.” Tony angles his head so he can kiss the thin, pale villain-cheek, right there against his shoulder. “Ready to get up and take on the world?”

Wriggle-wriggle, then he sort of _seizes up_. Puckered face. “Uggh!” Apparently Asgardians can get hangovers. Not that you'd know it from Thor. “Would this have happened if I'd had the 'well drinks' last night?”

“Would have been worse if you'd had the well drinks.” Brush another quick kiss on the villain-cheek, while Loki tries to pull away. “Coffee'll help. Lots of coffee. And breakfast. I know a place in South Pasadena. Biscuits and gravy and a fried egg on top. You don't think you want it now, but I guarantee...”

There goes Loki out of bed and into the bathroom. “And Advil,” Tony yells through the closed door. “That's a painkiller. I'll get some for both of us.” ...That is he will, if he can find where Pepper keeps ~~kept~~ them.

”Listen, I'm sorry about last night.” Shower's going, and the door's in the way. Try again, louder this time. “Listen, I'm sor...” Stop that, Stark. Who _yells_ apologies?

“...And if you want a home, you've got one here.” This time, he knows he won't be heard. ~~He doesn't want to be heard. This isn't Loki's home, it's Peppers. Pepper's and his. What if she comes back and he's here? Then she'll leave for good.~~ “I'll go find the Advil,” Tony mutters, and he walks off feeling guilty, but not exactly knowing what he feels guilty _for_.


	6. Robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which someone without security clearance, starts to settle in at the Malibu house

Lecture from Fury. Total reaming-out from Fury. And Barton and ~~Natalie~~ _Natasha_ are in Latveria, but the rest of The Avengers are right there (and you should see how wide Steve's eyes get when Fury says what he saw). Bruce also looks a little shocked. So Fury's like, “Who was it, Stark? One woman? More than one? Do you know their names? Do you know if they have security clearance?”

He wants to snerk at that part about the security clearance. He wants to say, “Well no, Mr. Director, but you did let him onto the heli-carrier once yourself.” Give the man credit for a little discretion though. “Sorry,” he says instead. Also, “I'm very sorry,” and “I know I fucked up.” – 

Which is where he hears Bruce say, “Well, he _fucked_ , at any rate,” and his lips twitch up into a sneaky grin (and Tony gives him a mental high-five). – 

Funny thing is, when he gets home, Loki's still there. Tony comes into the living room and finds him on the sofa with a book on his lap ( _Programming in C _), and Dummy sitting in front of him, with his case open.__

So Tony goes over and takes the book out of his hands (his long, smooth white hands) and puts it on the coffee table. He closes poor Dummy's case. “What's going on? Trying to mind-control my robot?”

Loki grabs the book. “I am trying to make it bring me something other than these execrable things.” He gestures, and Tony notices the three Green-Cleanse smoothies on the table. “They taste foul.”

”They're supposed to.” – All right, all right, one kiss for the gorgeous supervillain who's trying to learn programming. – “They clean the toxins out of your system. _Toxins_ , Loki, like people get when they spend their whole Saturday night drinking.” – 

Kiss back from the supervillain. Yummy little taste of supervillain-tongue. – ”We didn't spend the whole night drinking.” One white hand marks the place in the book, the other snakes out and opens Dummy's case again. In go both hands, and Loki's tapping keys.

There, he finishes. Case shuts. Push the on-switch. ...Nothing. (Little muttered, “Fuck,” from the supervillain.)

And Tony leans closer. “Let me see.” And their heads are so close, he can feel the coolness of Loki's cheek against his own, he can feel the tickle-tickle-tickle of his hair against his ear. Check the coding: It's actually pretty damn decent. Nice, workmanlike job... Fury's going to be _thrilled_ when he finds out Loki knows computers now.

Move the tickly villain-hair. Brush a kiss on the distracting, cool villain-cheek. Find the place five lines down, and put in the missing bracket. Add a missing colon, a-aand, close the case back up. Dummy can bring cans now, as well as smoothies.

Look at Loki. ”Beer? You know that hair-of-the-dog stuff's a bunch of crap...”

Patronizing eyeroll from the supervillain. “ _Monster_. Your archer used to drink them. You've run out, by the way. Get more.”

Get more? Why? He's not going to be staying? Weird feeling of cheer, somewhere in the region of his chest. “I meant to say, sorry for what I said...”

Dummy boots up and rolls into the kitchen. He brings back a Monster Tony didn't know was in the fridge. Cool green eyes, looking at Tony over the can. Is he smiling? Hard to tell with the Monster in the way. "I have no immediate plans, Stark. I shall stay for a while, if that is acceptable. ...And if you can behave yourself."

Fizzy, green-tasting Monster-kiss. "As long as you want." Say it fast, Stark. Don't think about Pepper. "Stay as long as you want, Loki." ~~But if she comes back?~~ Another green Monster-kiss makes the worries go away.


	7. Closet Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the super-villain and the genius-billionaire do some negotiating ...and other stuff.

They go to the bed. They go to the bed because the coffee table is covered with Green-Cleanses, because otherwise they would have fucked right there. And Tony trips over Dummy, because of course he's in the way, so he has to pick him up and move him, and then his hands go right back to being all over Loki. And the clothes go about as fast as clothes can go (AKA not fast enough). And Tony doesn't wait for Loki to magic his shirt out of the way, he just shoves it up around his neck, and goes after that villain-nipple he wanted earlier. ...And Loki's mouth is buried in his hair.

Dating a sorcerer: Good idea, when it comes to always having lube and condoms handy right when you want them. There are some down sides too, but this isn't the time to think about them, not while Tony's seeing what kind of villain-screams he can get if he puts his mouth there, and there, and especially _there_... Not while Loki's returning the favor, and Tony's wondering if genius-playboy-billionaire screams will break glass... And especially not when they're taking turns using as many condoms as possible.

What day is it again? It's still Monday, right? Still the same Monday when he got raked over the coals by Fury, and he told Loki he could live with him? And it occurs to Tony to say, “You don't have any luggage, right? You just magic whatever you need?”

And Loki's head is on his chest, his warm head, with the silky villain-hair. And he looks up. “I have my athame. Mother... _Odin's wife_ gave it to me.” He gestures at the nightstand, at a little, black-handled knife, that Tony just thought was part of his villain-paraphernalia. “Why?”

“I wanted to know if you needed part of the closet.” ~~– He can't have it. It's Pepper's closet. Only her stuff's not there any more (except that rabbit he gave her). Christ. –~~ ”It's yours if you want it,” Tony says past the lump in his throat.

“Keep it. Your precious girlfriend might come back.” Loki's hand on his face, Loki's lips against Tony's for a minute. “You are going to have to make a decision sometime, Stark.” – 

Says the man who's going to leave soon, and go be a villain again. – 

”I have made a decision.” Kiss the villain again. Take the time to notice how _lemony_ his mouth still tastes, from the Monster he drank (that is lemon, they flavor that shit with, isn't it?). ”I'm with you. Didn't I say so?” Another kiss. Another lemon-flavored, Monster-kiss. And another one... “Of course you've probably made plans with Doom, or Magneto, or someone.”

Loki mutters something. “I will learn to understand humans, but it will probably take me the rest of my life,” it sounds like. His life. His long, Asgardian-lifespan life. Magneto's probably got a really long lifespan, all those mutants do. And Doom too, because of the black magic.

Tony mutters himself: ”I should be with a human. Pepper...” He stops. Swallows. Wills the common sense back into place. – Thus proving that he has common sense, in case you were wondering. – “Sorry.” he says. “I shouldn't have mentioned Pepper. – Can we just fuck? We don't argue when we fuck.”

Soft sigh from Loki. A soft, long sigh. “I have my athame here, don't I? I'm staying.” – 

~~Until when? Until Doom or Magneto makes a better offer?~~ –

”What about you, Stark? What will you do if your woman comes back?”

”I'll tell her to leave,” Tony says. “I'll tell her I'm with you.” (While inside, his whole soul dies, as he says it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An athame is a Wiccan ritual knife. It's fudging a little, to use it here, when Loki is Norse, but the story-prompt I write this for was, "Knife".


	8. The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some good-byes are said.

See the thing is, Pepper never wanted to see the suits while he was working on them, but Loki does. And at first, Tony was afraid it was just so he could steal all his best tech-secrets and give them to his villain friends. Then he realized Loki doesn't actually care enough about any of them to do that, he's just there because he's interested. After that...

Well after that's a blank, a two, maybe three-day blank, while the pile of pizza boxes and empty PBR cans upstairs, gets bigger and bigger, and Tony (and Loki!) finish the Mark 1.0 in the workroom.

And Tony _knows_ what he looks like when he's done. – He knows what he smells like too. Showering's one of those things you forget when you're busy working, you just count on the flame from the welding-torch neutralizing your B.O. – Goddamn Loki just waves a hand over himself, and he's all perfect and pretty again (the bastard).

So Tony sets JARVIS on paint-mode, after he chooses the exact shade of silver he wants for the contrast. Then he turns around to his magical boyfriend ~~(?)~~. “Mind touching me up too? Then we can go out.”

“Oh no, Stark.” Perfect Loki-hand, on Tony's sweaty back. Smooth Loki-face, really close to his stubbled one. “You'll shower, and if you behave, I'll join you.”

Oh well, if you put it that way... Run a hand through your dirty hair, Stark. Ignore the fact that you currently smell bad enough to have the entire house declared a toxic site. Smile back at the demi-god whose also willing to ignore the odor. “After that we go out?”

...Remember that he can magic as many condoms as you, or anybody, could possibly want, as he murmurs, “Eventually.”

So here's the interesting part: They're just finishing up, right? Bathroom's all steamy, and Tony's hair is still wet and spiky from the towel (but Loki's already magicked his perfect again). All either of them's got on is a towel (and Tony's just decided that maybe going out isn't quite as interesting as getting Loki's towel back off so he can explore some parts of his body he might have missed earlier). That's when he hears the front door.

And the voice: “Good morning, Ms. Potts. A pleasure to see you again.”

And her voice ~~(that he hasn't heard in too long)~~ : “Good morning, JARVIS. Is Tony around?” Then the click-click of heels against tile, and then the bedroom door opens, and he's looking into round eyes, and a round, wide-open mouth.

“This isn't...” he starts.

“Isn't what?” God, that voice! That cool, amused voice of hers, while inside, she's keeping everything organized and taking care of everyone. “Tony please, this isn't the worst thing I've caught you doing. Sheltering war-criminals?” Casual shrug of those elegant shoulders. “Pfft, you could be doing worse.” While she looks around at the towels and the steamed-up bathroom. “At least you're both clean, right?”

“Very clean.” ~~Pepper...~~

“Immaculate.” Quick look from the god on the bed, toward Pepper, then another suspicious one, over at Tony. “Was there something you wanted, Ms. Potts?”

“I live here.” ~~– _Live_ , she said “live”. ...She did say “live,” didn't she? Not “lived”? – ~~

Green eyes bore into him from one side, blue eyes from the other. “Well there is some doubt about that,” Tony hears himself saying. “You told me you were moving out.”

A sigh (an elegant sigh). “Tony, don't start.”

“Well, all your things are gone. Your clothes, your... What do you call all that shit you put on your face? That's gone. I...”

And there's her voice, cutting into his half-finished semi-thought: “Tony, I came to give you this back.” Her cool, beautiful hand comes out, and there's something in it.

“Your ring.” Sapphires, like her beautiful blue eyes, and diamonds, because there's always diamonds in engagement rings.

“It would be wrong for me to keep it.”

“Pepper, it's yours.” Diamonds, like the wedding gown she was going to wear after he proposed to her. Oh god, why didn't he go ahead and do that while he had the chance? Why didn't he make it official? “I want you to have it.” – 

Because it's always about what he wants, right? Isn't that what she says? – 

“Tony, I'm sorry,” she says. “I'm seeing someone else. I can't keep your ring, it would hurt him.”

The ring. Pepper's ring. With the sapphires and diamonds. Tony's finger goes through it. It goes down about a quarter of the way, and it sticks. Stiff lips form words: “Who?”

“It's just going to hurt you, Tony.” A breath. A sigh. A Pepper-sigh. “Happy,” she says. “I'm dating Happy. I'm sorry Tony. Good-bye.”

“Bye.” He feels like the stupid kid at the end of _Lassie_ , waving his black-and-white hand, as a black-and-white collie, goes down a black-and-white road. Tony waves his hand, with the diamond-and-sapphire Pepper-ring on it. “Tell Hap I said congratulations.” he says, lying through his teeth.


	9. Frost Giant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Irritable Tony is irritable.

Turn around. Face the god on the bed. Dignity, Stark, dignity. You didn't just get humiliatingly dumped in front of a supervillain, and if you did, you can rise above it. Look into dark green eyes and the tight little frown, and realize that yes, you did. And why the fuck does Loki care anyway? He wants to stay here with you, right? Isn't that more likely to happen if you're _not_ with Pepper?

Then say, “I wish you wouldn't do that,” to Loki, and when he says “what,” say, “Look at me like that. What do you care what Pepper says?”

Loki's green eyes go blank. “I don't care. The woman...” – 

“Pepper.” Irritable Tony is irritable. – 

Irritation, reflected by the god on the bed: “ _Pepper_. She knew what you were when she agreed to live with you. Wherefore lie and pretend to care, for so long?”

Pepper? _Lie?_ Little-tiny voice buried way down deep inside, says, _Yes. She did. You're the victim here._ But the bigger, larger, louder voice, says, _What the fuck right does he have to insult Pepper?_ And the big, loud voice wins.

“Don't insult Pepper. She's worth ten of you.”

Ignore the way that makes Loki's face go blank again. What is that he said about Pep knowing what you're like Stark? Well, he does too. He should know what to expect. Then Loki takes a breath. Then he opens his mouth. “You are a mortal,” he says. “I forget that sometimes.”

“A mortal.” Irritable Tony should shut the fuck up. “You're insulting me now, too?” Seriously, Pep walks in and dumps him in public, so what does he do? He takes it out on _Loki_? Who only wants to stay here for a while, and have sweet, gorgeous sex with him? Apparently he's a total idiot though, because it doesn't stop. “Mortal,” he says. “That's like the ultimate insult for you. Well what's so bad with being a mortal anyway? Do you mind telling me that?”

Another deep breath from the god on the bed, and... Nothing. (To be fair, Tony doesn't give him very long to answer.) 

“You're a Frost Monster yourself,” he says. “Frost Monster, isn't that what it's called? What right do you have to judge someone else just because they're not Asgardian?”

The mutter. “I could pick you up right now.” And the gesture. “I could throw you through that window.”

“Suit would get me before I was halfway down.” Lokis mad. But his face doesn't look mad. “We've played that game before, remember?” Stark says. It looks hurt. He hurt the God of Chaos. How is that even possible? Then everything he was feeling about Pepper goes away. All he's feeling, suddenly, is shame. And he's sitting on the bed. And he's next to Loki. “Listen,” he says. “I'm sorry. That about being a Frost Monster, that's an insult, isn't it?”

Soft voice from the God of Chaos: “So is being called a mortal. I suppose.”

Or they could just not call each other anything. They could be Loki, and Tony. They could live here and now (and not in the past), and take care of each other.

Tony slides closer. He waits until Loki makes room for him. He does ...after a minute or so. “I acted like an asshole,” he says. “I'm sorry.” He wants to say, “don't leave,” but it doesn't feel like he's got the right..

Then Loki leans against his shoulder. Tony feels his hair against his cheek, the warmth of his body against his own. “You were right,” he says. “I am a Frost Giant.” He takes a breath; Tony feels it go all through his thin body. “And Frost Giants are monsters.”

Monsters... The warmth of him, so close, so cuddly. Tony feels like he's the monster here. And his arm goes tighter, around Loki's waist. And his hand comes up and smooths the dark hair away from Loki's face.


	10. Blue-Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which frostbite is a very real issue.

They don't end up going out. See first, they're sitting on the bed. Loki's leaning against Tony's shoulder, and Tony's like, “Listen, it's Tuesday. Barefoot Bar's got a cheeseburger lunch special on Tuesday.”

Loki doesn't say anything for a while. Then he mumbles, “If you're hungry...”

He's not, Tony thinks? Wasn't he before? So he says, “Something more upscale? Some brunch, maybe some champagne?”

Shake of the head nestled against his shoulder. It's because of the Frost Giant thing, Tony thinks. Because he called him a monster. ...Which was, if you think about it, pretty shitty of him.

So then he rubs Loki's shoulders some. He's not the world's best guy at comforting people, but Pepper used to like it when he did that. – And he _makes_ himself ignore the fucked-upness of using his ex-girlfriend's tricks on Loki; he's got to do something to make up for before. – “What would you like to do?” (Pepper also used to like it when he said that.)

Loki said one time, that they put him in this cell when he got back to Asgard, in this sterile, empty cell, and no one was allowed to visit him, but it had a glass wall, so he could see the people going by outside. He could see them, but he couldn't get to them, and they couldn't talk to him. That's what he's like now, like he's in a cell, and he's forgotten there's no wall keeping him alone. So maybe that's what Tony can do for him, is remind him.

So here's what he does, he makes soup. You want an Alice In Wonderland image, try that out: Tony Stark makes soup for the God of Chaos. Gods of Chaos like chicken noodle, by the way. Or they tolerate it, anyway, if only because it's the only kind in the house. Tony makes it the old fashioned way, the way Nanny used to, with the packet from Lipton, and a little more hot water than it says on the label, because otherwise it's too salty, and a pile of crackers on the side.

He also feeds it to him (in case the previous image wasn't brain-hurting enough for you). He tucks Loki under the covers, and he sits on the edge of the bed and gives him spoonfuls, until Loki gets enough energy to say, “This is _not_ the best food I have tasted since I came to Midgard.”

“Now do you want to go out?” Tony says, but Loki just grabs the bowl and eats the rest of the soup by himself. He also drinks all the milk (that's what Nanny always served alongside).

After a while, he finishes, and he gives Tony the bowl. “Would you like to see me in my Frost Giant form?” he says.

Tony wants to say he doesn't care. He wants to say that Loki is okay just the way he is, but he's not sure that's the right thing to say, and he's already put his foot in it too many times today. He just stays quiet.

Loki slowly turns blue. He turns blue like out of a box of crayons, first his hands, then his arms, and his neck, and his face (while Tony looks at him, and tries to figure out what he's supposed to be thinking).

“Can I touch you?” It's the only thing he can think of to say.

“No!” Loki puts out a hand, like he's going to stop him, then, right at the last minute, he stops himself. “I can't touch you either,” he says. “In this form my touch will burn your skin.” Unhappy look on the blue face. “I should have known better than to show you. – To put a mortal in danger...”

“No more of that mortal crap, remember? You said?” Tony's hand hovers. He wants to pull the covers down, see if Loki's really blue like that, all over. “You can still do magic, can't you?”

A nod. Frost-Loki's hair flops across the markings on his forehead. Uneven lines... What would they feel like under your fingers? 

“Healing magic?” – Another nod. – “Oh well, no worries then, here goes.” Tony grabs Frost-Giant shoulders, and plants a kiss on soft, parted, Frost-Giant lips.

Aaand then he jumps right back just as fast, as the burning starts. “Oh, ow, ow! Oh fuck, oh shit!”

...Until Loki waves a hand and the pain goes away, and a warm feeling goes all through him. And Loki laughs. “You should have waited,” he says. “I will make this work,” and he does some magic, and when they touch again, his skin feels like normal, just a little bit cold.

Those uneven lines feel nubbly, by the way. Like running your hand over somebody's knuckles. All Loki's bones feel a little more pronounced, a little bit closer to the surface. And fucking a Frost Giant is a little like diving into the world's coldest river, it wakes you up, and makes your heart beat faster. And sometime while they're cuddling afterward, Loki turns back into his regular form, but Tony's not sure when; it doesn't seem to matter. Cuddling with Loki is good, no matter what color he is.

...And they don't actually end up going out on Tuesday at all. Just, first there was the suit, then shower-sex, and then Frost-Giant-sex after that. And yeah, there were some bad parts in between, but looking back, it doesn't seem like they matter much. He hopes Loki feels the same way.


	11. Lunch Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, for a change, somebody else has more issues than Tony.

Barefoot Bar's _Wednesday_ lunch special is a Hawaiian burger, mac-salad on the side. Only when they get there, it turns out to be Thursday, so they have kalua pork instead. And Loki's dressed downscale. He's magicked an “I Do What I Want” t-shirt, and jeans with more welding-spark holes than Tony's (but his elegant, finicky-as-a-cat manner is the same as always). And he eats pork like he hasn't seen food in three days, and matches Tony, beer for beer. –

Tiger beer. One of about 100 exactly identical lagers on the menu, but this one has a palm tree on the label, which makes it cool for some reason. – 

And Tony looks at him, and he thinks, “This guy was blue in my bed, yesterday. It also hurt when I kissed him.” It's a hard image to shake, and way more interesting than kalua pork. And he looks at him, and he looks.

And after a while Loki looks back. “What is it?” he says. “Have I got something on my face?”

“I was just thinking...” – He does, actually. There's a big smear of teriyaki sauce, right there on his lower lip. Tony takes a napkin and wipes it away (thinks about kissing it away). – “Your Frost Giant form... – You know, that you showed me yesterday? – How do you do that?”

Loki nibbles kalua pork, pushes some pieces of cabbage out of the way (Chaos Gods don't like vegetables). “It is my true form.”

His _true_ form. And that makes the other one what? A lie? ~~It makes it a suit. It makes it armor. – What the fuck does that even mean?~~

Tony pokes at his food, tries for nothing but pork (genius-billionaires don't actually like cabbage much either). “But how do you do it? It's magic, isn't it? Did your dad teach it to you? So you'd blend in?”

He'd like to think that, it occurs to him. He'd like to think Odin was that much of an asshole. But why? He always sounded like a fine guy when Thor talked about him. _Father issues._ ~~– That's what Pepper would say. –~~ It's his own father issues making him think that.

Faint shake of the head (from the guy that's blue underneath). “It's just something I do.” And a vague shrug. “I've always done it. Since I was a baby.”

For some reason, this feeling's even sadder. Even lonelier, like Asgard's full of assholes, and this one baby with only his ~~armor~~ magic to protect him. Kind of makes him wish he were there to hold little Baby-Loki and protect him. Little blue, Baby-Loki. ...Who'd give him frostbite as soon as he picked him up (wonder if he had the warming-magic back then).

Look at ex-blue (still-blue) Loki. “You ever want to _not_ do it?” Tony says.

Loki snorts. “Of course not. This form is pleasing. Whereas the other one...”

...Is a monster-form. Oh yeah that's right, Frost Giants are monsters...

More sad-feelings. That Loki doesn't want. That'll only get in the way. Get in the way of what, he doesn't know, but they'll get in the way of something. Look up. Wave the server over and order two more Tigers. Smile at the Chaos God (who has a teriyaki-smear on his lip again). “God, you're full of issues.”

And get a smile back, a real one. “No more than yourself. Order more pork for me, Stark.”

“Tony,” he says. “Tony, or no more pork.”


	12. The L.A. Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a very pleasant bath is interrupted.

It's the party that does it. Okay, looking back, it was probably a pretty stupid idea to take Loki, but it was just this little party. Just this little Hollywood opening, for a third-rate movie, and the only reason he was there, was because Stark International had an investment, and Pepper called, and she was like, “Somebody's got to be there, and Happy and I can't.” Then something about “other plans,” and “meeting Happy's parents”. And okay, maybe it was the reference to Happy, maybe he went kind of haywire. The next thing you knew, he was at the party. And Loki was beside him, looking perfect. – And acting perfect; seriously, you would not have guessed the guy was a supervillain. – And the next thing after that is, he's opening up the L.A. Times in the morning, and there he and Loki are, splashed all over the Business section. The _Business_ section!

So he's like, laughing it off and whatnot: “Should have been Crime,” he says. “After all, you're still a wanted criminal, aren't you?”

Loki glares at him, two disapproving green eyes and just the tip of a nose (a kissable nose), poking out from the bubbles in the tub. “Not here, I should hope.” – Out comes one bubbly hand, for the cup of coffee Tony's brought him. – “Your people gave me to 'Asgardian justice'.” He sips. – Lips ringed by foam from the tub: Does he know how appealing he is like this? (Probably.) – “This has cooled, Tony. How long were you, about bringing it to me?”

A little while. Tony drinks, and yeah, okay, the coffee's pretty cold. Maybe longer than he thought. “Excuse me for being distracted, when I found out I'm all over the Business section, _with my supervillain boyfriend_.”

Loki does a little incantation, and the coffee gets hot again. He moves over in the tub. “There's space if you want to join me.”

Tony does. That's sort of why he brought the coffee into the bathroom. Robe on the floor, one genius-billionaire foot dips underneath the bubbles. Pull back for a minute. “Jesus, this is hot! You're a Frost Giant, shouldn't you take cold baths?”

See the cloud go across Loki's face. Realize he's just put his foot in it again. Then watch him go all smug and in-control again (the way he's supposed to be), and he says, “You'd have shared that with me, I suppose?”

He wouldn't have, of course. “Touche, Loki.” In he goes the rest of the way. He'll get used to the water ...in a minute. “Just, can we try for a happy medium next time?”

Then Loki does an incantation again, and the water's perfect. And then Tony's sitting between his legs, and Loki's got both his arms around him, which kind of makes holding coffee cups awkward, for both of them, but neither of them cares.

And then Loki turns on the whirlpool. – _Without_ getting out of the tub. This is one of the good things about dating a spellcaster. – And first the bubbles are up around his coffee cup (so he drinks the coffee really fast), and then they're up around his head. And it occurs to Tony (who's currently got his head turned as far as possible, and is kissing Loki), that if there were any paparazzi in here now, they wouldn't be able to see anything. ...And then, in one of those meeting-of-the-minds moments, that's when Pepper calls.

Her ringtone: “Eyes Without a Face”. Pep doesn't seem to understand that any music's been made since the 1980's. He used to say it was cute of her, but now he's free to think it's pretty damned annoying. Another annoying thing is, he's left the phone in the other room, so he's got to get out of the tub, and go in there, leaving foamy footprints all over the carpet. And he sits down (leaving a foamy ass-print on the bed) and picks up the phone, and thumbs it on.

“Hello, Pepper? Light of my life? Loveliest ex-girlfriend in the world?”

She's like, “DID YOU SEE THE L.A. TIMES THIS MORNING?????????????”

“Yeah, Pep. Nice picture, isn't it? Sure am glad you made me go to that premiere last night.”

She's like, “ON THE RED CARPET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH LOKI????????????????????”

He's like, “Well, if you'd been here...”

And she's like, “Don't even start.”

And then it occurs to him that yeah, she's right, he won't start. So then he says, “Pepper you're going to have to get used to seeing pictures of me with Loki... You, and Fury, and everyone else, is going to have to get used to it too, because we're together, we're a couple, all right? And you know what? I'm glad you're with Happy, because he's sane like you. And I'm not, and it gets pretty tiring trying to pretend. Loki's not sane, that's one of the reasons we work really well together.” – Little gasp from the other end of the phone. – “There are other reasons too.”

There's more. He says more. It's a really good speech, Loki should have been there to hear it (he would have given Tony so much thank-you sex afterward). He doesn't, unfortunately though, because he's still in the bathtub. And Pepper doesn't appreciate it properly, she just says, “You think I have a problem with this, wait until SHIELD finds out.”

Tony's like, “Screw SHIELD.”

And Pepper says, “Tony, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you're having fun with Loki. But do you really think he's changed? I'm just afraid he'll hurt you, when he starts being evil again.”

And now Tony's glad Loki's not in there to hear, because if he were, he might feel like he had to talk about it. And Tony doesn't want to talk about it, because he doesn't want to think about it. Some bad things happen, you just get through them however you can, right? So he's like, “Well you left, and I'm not dead or in prison yet...” – 

She's like, “No, you're just dating a super...” – 

He cuts her off. “It's not your problem any more, all right? Don't worry about it.”

And she's like, “Okay. Bye, Tony.” 

And he says, “Bye,” and he hangs up. And he goes back to the bathroom, and gets back in the water with Loki. “Make it hot again, will you?” he says. And Loki does. And then they cuddle some more. If this is denial, he's okay with that. He'll worry about what's going to happen later, when it happens.


	13. Marshmallows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki says something that's too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted old Chapter 13, the one with Doom in it. I decided it didn't fit with the domestic romance-comedy I was trying for here. So here's another shot at it.

Marshmallows. You ever roast them? Because Loki hasn't, and at first he can't seem to “get” the whole concept. And he takes one. – Image is funny as hell: Those long, gorgeous fingers of his, with the black-painted nails (that he chews, and it always twists Tony's heart a little when he sees the chewed places), and the white marshmallow cradled in them. – He looks at it for a minute, and he's like, “We are going to expose these to the flames?”

Tony's like, “Oh come on Loki, it's fate.” – Which it is, you can't deny it: First cool evening they've had, and he lights a fire, and then when he's in the cupboard, he finds this bag of marshmallows, and it's unopened (and only a year or two past the expiration date). – “You like fate, don't you?”

And Loki's like, “Well, I wouldn't say I _like_ it...” But he takes the barbecue fork, and he lets Tony show him how to put the marshmallow on. “And what do I do next?” he says, and he won't believe it, when Tony tells him the right thing to do is to get it burning, then slip the first layer off, and then see how many more layers you can roast after that.

They've moved the coffee table as far back against the sofa as it will go, and they've brought pillows down onto the floor, and an afghan. It's actually way too hot, right up next to the fire like this, but it's starting to get dark outside, and the flames reflect off Loki's face, and light golden places in that hair of his, that usually looks plain black. And Loki's nice and relaxed, and there's this thought that keeps dancing through Tony's mind: “Did you ever think you'd end up in the Malibu house, roasting marshmallows with a supervillain?” But in a good way, if you can get that.

And that's when Tony remembers the marshmallow vodka. Pepper bought it like a year ago, she bought it for Christmas or something (and then it turned out to be so sweet neither of them could drink it), but for once, it is kind of appropriate, at least thematically, so Tony goes out into the kitchen and he gets it. He also brings a couple of shot glasses. Loki looks at them, and he's like, “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Tony's like, “I'm always trying to get you drunk. That's how I like my Frost Giants, if you hadn't noticed...” – He's pouring them each some of the shit-vodka while he says it. He's handing Loki his glass, drinking himself. The stuff's just as horrible as always, by the way. – “I like 'em bare-ass naked, and willing,” he says. “Same way I like my supervillains.”

Loki drinks. He makes a wry face, but then he finishes the glass. “About that...” he says. – 

About what? – 

Loki fits another marshmallow onto his fork. He holds out his glass for more vodka, then he drinks it. “Your woman,” he says. “Was she a superhero?”

Shake of the head. Genius-billionaire takes a marshmallow, moves really close to the Frost Giant to get it into the fire.

“Was she a supervillain?”

“She was just herself,” he says. “She was just Pepper...” Thought in his mind: “I know what Loki means.” Hope all the way through him, that he's right.

“That is what I want,” Loki says, “at least for now. I want to be just Loki.”

He doesn't sound like he's lying. Tony looks at his marshmallow. It is currently in flames, and burning quite brightly. “What else is a supervillain going to say...”

Irritated hiss of Frost Giant breath. “I am tired of these labels, Tony. Do I put labels on you?

Shrug-shrug. “I don't know.” Look at him. “They'd be good labels if you did,” he says.

And another irritated breath. “Your marshmallow has burnt to a crisp,” Loki says. And he takes his own out of the fire, and feeds Tony the creamy top layer. He pours them more vodka. “Here,” he says. “Drink.”

And Tony drinks. Thinks about Loki calling him “Merchant of Death.” Starts to feel guilty. “You don't have to put up with me, Loki,” he says. “Just magic my mouth away or something, when I start being an asshole.”

“You'd never have a mouth if I did that.” Loki takes another layer off his marshmallow, and feeds it to him. He kisses him. Taste of marshmallows and crap-vodka in his mouth. Feeling of guilt in the genius-billionaire's stomach. ...And the crackle-crackle-crackle of the flames in the fireplace.


	14. Marshmallows, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which all the shit-vodka gets drank, and more things get said.

A kiss, and then another kiss, and then... You know, they're not really a substitute for conversation? Kisses, that is? So one kiss, then some more kisses. More vodka, but not so many more marshmallows, because they want their hands on each other, not fiddling with a lot of forks in the fire. And all the time at the back of his head, Tony's thinking: “Well, if I keep quiet, then I won't say the wrong thing. ...But then when he leaves, I won't know why. Just like Pepper. Do I really want that whole thing to happen again?”

That's when he grabs the vodka and takes a big drink, because he thinks maybe some of that shit will block the thoughts (it doesn't). You'd think it would taste better, the more you drank? It actually tastes worse. And he gestures with the bottle. “This stuff,” he says, “tastes like the vomit you're going to get the next morning after you drink it.”

Loki's curled up in his lap at the moment. He's on top of him, with his long legs tucked sort of half under himself, and half under Tony's ass. It's not the most comfortable position in the entire world, it's one of those that's really only doable in small doses, but... But sometimes you don't want to get further away from someone, if you can understand that. Sometimes it feels like if you let them go, even a little bit, they're going to be gone, gone as in forever.

“You could get up and get something else,” he says. “Whole kitchen full of drinks...” – Loki's got both arms around Tony's shoulders. He's got his head... Well let's say you wouldn't believe how much work it takes to coil 6'5” of Frost Giant, so he'll fit neatly into 5'8” worth of lap. – “There's that Scotch you were bragging about. How old did you say it was?” – And his lips against Tony's lips. And against his chin. ...And his nose. – 

“20 years.”

“Yes, there's the 20 year old Scotch.” – Kiss-kiss, cuddle-cuddle-cuddle. And the bottle of marshmallow shit-vodka, passed back and forth again. – “And all that beer...” – Long, Frost Giant fingers, tangled in genius-billionaire hair. – “And what's the name of that stuff you keep in the freezer?”

“The cocktail pouches?” – Genius-billionaire hands, against the Frost Giant back. Underneath his shirt... – “Don't blame me for those. Pepper left 'em behind.” – 

Another kiss. Marshmallow vodka-flavored kiss. – “The other stuff. That comes out syrupy when you pour it.”

“The Stoli...” – God, the feel of Frost Giant muscles, under his fingers. He always looks so slim when he's dressed, and they take Tony by surprise, every single time. – “Listen, Loki,” he suddenly finds himself saying. “Just what exactly did you mean with that about not wanting to be a villain any more? What was that about?”

Soft sigh. Loki grabs the shit-vodka and takes a big drink. Then another minute or two of silence, and then, “I was wondering if you'd get back to that.”

Shrug-shrug of genius-billionaire shoulders. “It's not me. God knows _I_ don't care...” – Evil look of pure skepticism from Loki. – “Well I _don't_ ,” he says. “It's just now everyone knows we're together. People are going to start asking. – Fury's going to ask. And I kind of like being on The Avengers. I don't want to get kicked off for dating a supervillain.”

“That word again.” Little Loki-snort. “You keep using it... I was never a 'villain'. I wanted something different than your people wanted, that's all.”

“Yeah, something very different.” Thank god for marshmallow shit-vodka, it's the only thing that'll keep a conversation like this halfway civil. Is he really even talking about this? With Loki? “You unleashed an alien army on us.”

A sigh. And more shit-vodka for the Frost Giant. “Combat with other realms is something I have seen since childhood. Your people beat me, and I was punished.” Loki sits up suddenly. All the way up. Skinny Frost Giant ass, less comfortable against Tony's legs than the way he was sitting before, but who's thinking about that _now_? “Fa... _Odin_ sentenced me to an eternity in prison, Tony. I can never go back to Asgard. I just want to know...” Vague gesture. A vague, sad, gesture. “Are your people more forgiving?”

It's the sad gesture that gets him. Up until then, he was probably going to tell the truth. After that, he can't, he just can't look into Loki's face and do it. So he says, “Of course they are.” And then he can't shut up, he just keeps digging his grave deeper. “Odin's an asshole,” he says. “I can't imagine throwing your son away forever, no matter what he did. We humans, we'd never do that.” He grabs the shit-vodka, tries to wash the taste of lies out of his mouth. It doesn't work. “In Vino Veritas,” as they used to say at Dad's country club (or in other words, get a guy drunk enough, and he can't keep quiet about anything). “Okay,” he says. “I'd forgive you. I can't say for sure about anyone else. Maybe if you tried to help a little for a change?”

“Help?” Loki's starting to get a little drunk by now. You can tell, because he gets giggly at this (instead of getting mad). “By taking over and running things right?”

“Like you'd do any better than we do.” Quick Stark, shove the vodka at Loki. Keep him from getting mad at what you just said.

And it works. He drinks. Cuddles up a little closer. “A coven of bilgesnapes could do better than your people do.”

Cuddle back. Finish the shit-vodka (which is lousy to the last drop, thank you very much). “A what of whiches?”

“Monstrous animals.” Loki closes his eyes, goes all relaxed. Tony's going to have an armload of sleeping Frost Giant pretty soon. “All right, maybe I'll help your people,” Loki says drowsily. “Sometimes. ...And only if your friends let you stay on with The Avengers.”

Tony thinks about his nice, soft bed. He thinks about at least moving them to the sofa, where they can stretch out, and not wake up all cramped in front of a dead fire. But sleeping Frost Giants are awfully cuddly creatures, and besides, he drank almost half of that shit-vodka himself. So after a while he gives a mental shrug, and he settles for moving the pillows so they're sort of under his and Loki's heads (even if their backs are still right up against the hearth), and he closes his eyes and falls asleep.


	15. Showers vs Baths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony appreciates the power of Frost Giants, and Pepper interrupts.

What wakes him up is the sound of the shower. And at first, Tony's not really awake. He's just relaxing, enjoying the softness of his pillow, the warmth of the comforter, pulled up tight. He's, like, just lying there feeling comfortable, and it's a good four minutes, maybe five, before he remembers that they were in the living room when they fell asleep last night. They were leaning against the fireplace, weren't they? And their legs were all cramped-up, because the coffee table was in the way? Then Loki comes in, with nothing but a towel around his waist, and those muscles of his, those muscles that never show under his clothes, all on perfect display, and he figures it out.

“You carried me to bed last night.”

“I considered leaving you in there.” Loki sits on the bed, takes a comb to his hair. “After all, it was your idea that we drink that horrible sweet stuff.”

The marshmallow vodka. Tony takes the comb, tackles Loki's long hair himself. That spicy scent it always has is stronger, when it's wet. It's like walking through a pine forest. And the strands kind of tangle, and curl a little, around his fingers. “Yeah, that stuff's pretty rank,” he says. Long, damp Loki-hair. ...And the pale skin of his neck under it. Pale skin, soft skin, but you can see the muscles under it. Tony brushes the hair out of the way, bends, nips at a muscle right where his neck meets his shoulders. “My strong Frost Giant boyfriend.”

Faint breath of a laugh from the Frost Giant. “My genius boyfriend, who can sleep through anything, including being picked up off a hard stone floor, and carried upstairs.” Hair's smooth again. He does that little magic thing with his fingers, and the comb's back on the bathroom counter. “I had to wait,” Loki says. “I was going to do this...” Soft Frost Giant lips against Tony's chin, Frost Giant lips that travel downward, as far down as they can go, with his shirt in the way. Loki looks at him. He clears his throat. Tony takes the shirt off, and there the lips go again. “And this,” Loki says. “And this...”

“Upshot...” Shiver goes through the genius-billionaire, and a gasp, as Loki's mouth finds his nipple. “In other words, what you're saying...”

“What am I saying?” Tickly tongue... Nippy little bites from Frost Giant teeth. “Hmmm?”

“I was...” Genius-billionaire face, buried in long, dark hair... In hair, that smells of pine forests. “Who was saying something? Was it me?”

“You were saying you wanted my mouth here...” Oh god, oh god, the undershorts... There they go. And yes, oh yes, he definitely wants Loki's mouth there. Sly green eyes catch his for a moment. “That was it, wasn't it?”

“YES, LOKI!” Little-Tony says it would be a good idea to shove the Frost Giant head back where it belongs. Tony tells him to shut up, and sure enough, Loki's head is back there soon enough anyway.

No talking at all for a while. Frost Giant mouths, and satisfaction. Genius-billionaire tongues, places that make the Frost Giant scream... Genius-billionaire tongues, doing things so well that Loki grabs his head and holds it there, so he can do more of it (Tony takes this as a compliment). Lot of grunts and gasps, plenty of panting and moans (mixed with a few good screams). Lot of ways to rumple a set of sheets, lot of ways to get them tangled at the foot of the bed (and the comforter pushed completely off onto the floor), and get spatters and smears all over the bottom sheet.

And it's around the time that the Frost Giant and the genius-billionaire are getting tired of the spattered sheets, and thinking maybe it's time to move the action to the bathtub, that the phone rings. – Okay, to be accurate, it's about then that the phone rings, and Tony _notices_. – And for some reason he decides to answer. Why? Maybe because the light coming in the window is getting pretty strong by now, like midday light, and it's time to pay attention to the rest of the world. Or, who knows, maybe just for the hell of it.

And there's Pepper's voice (sounding as Personal Assistant-ish as if he'd never made her CEO): “Tony, I've arranged an interview...”

“A bath, Tony?” Loki says. “Will this take long?”

“Not long, no. Go on in...” Back to the lady on the phone. “An _interview_? Well aren't you just the sweetest little thing?”

“ _Tony_...”

“For the good of the company, I suppose?”

That irritated little click-thing she does with her tongue: She sounds just like an overheated engine, after you turn the key. Thing is, he doesn't actually mind about the interview, because he's got to get the thing with Loki out in public sometime. It's just fun pissing her off.

Irritated huff of redhead-breath. “I should have known you'd take this attitude.”

“Attitude? Oh, Pepper...” Thing with these office romances, is that they always die, and after that, how are you going to talk to the person? Thing is though, he's going to have to set up his own interview if he keeps yanking her chain... “No, seriously Pep, I'll do the interview,” he says. “When and where?”

And it's someplace in Glendale. Someplace in Glendale, at three this afternoon. “It's Good Morning America,” she says, “but they're doing it pre-recorded,” and oh isn't that nice of them?

“Does anyone even watch Good Morning America any more?” he says just to see what Pep will say.

But she's got her Personal Assistant mojo back now, and she just goes, “No, but believe me, they'll all watch the clips after Perez Hilton picks up the story.”

Yes, they probably will. Tony spares a moment to picture Fury opening a sparkly pink website, and tabbing past Miley and Britney to get to him. Oh, to be a fly on the wall... “Fine, three,” he says. “I can do that.” 

And he does. Only since it's past two when he gets off the phone, there's no bubble bath for him today, just a quick shower.


	16. Perez Hilton's Sparkly Pink Website

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which gotcha quotes completely misconstrue what Tony was saying.

Pink website. Sparkly website. “Oh, Director Fury, go back! _Who_ was it that rocked the red carpet in teal? ...No wait, this page! _Which_ Khardashian sizzled in a horseback photo-shoot? – Bruce, have you been keeping track?” And Bruce is hiding a smile. And he actually hears Natasha snerk. Woman might actually be getting past the way he treated her when she was his Personal Assistant. Maybe... Or she's closer, anyway.

Cap's like, “Tony, I can't believe you're not taking this seriously.”

This. Shove the guilt down, Stark. Push the guilt away. Thing with Cap is, even though he's pretty human, once you get to know him, he's still got that schoolboy, black-and-white value system. _Nobody_ can live by that shit. “Excuse me, what? What am I supposed to take seriously? Oh yeah right, I'm dating somebody The Avengers don't like. That's it, isn't it? Oh no, the safety of human life as we know it, is about to be destroyed by Tony Stark's love life?”

And there's the video-clip. And Fury clicks. And there he is: “We're a couple, yes.” Nod of the Stark-head... – Too much product in his hair, way too much. Fucking stuff doesn't even move. Oh, and what is the thing with his make-up? Did they set out to make him look 60? – And, “Yes,” he says to Interviewer-Guy, “that's right, me and Loki. – Yes, I trust him.” Then the cut. Footage from New York. Shot of Loki being all Tinpot-Dictator in Stuttgart.

Quick look at Fury. “That's SHIELD footage.”

Quick look, not fast enough to catch the smug smile. Or maybe the guy's really that much of a poker-face. “It's _public_ footage.”

Guilt-guilt-guilt, and the thought, _Don't say too much._ but he still says, “I notice he doesn't show the part where I talk about second chances.”

“Gotcha website.” Bruce's voice. “What do you expect?”

“There's a link to the whole interview at the end of the article,” Fury says. “It doesn't change anything. You're still living with a known supervillain, and that compromises our entire operation.”

And the steely look from Clint, and the little frowny-face Natasha is giving him. ...And the way Cap's shaking his head, like the news is brand-new to him, even though Fury's got to have told 'em all what was coming.

And he's like, “Excuse me, but the part about second chances is important. Where would I be, if it weren't for second chances? Oh, and how about you, Bruce?”

Fun-fun, ladies and gentleman. Let's all play Pile on the Billionaire. Here's the kicker, all right? You want to know the kicker? Fury's like, “Well I always said, the Avengers Initiative was only going to work if I gave you guys autonomy.” And he's like, “It's not my decision to make.” And the upshot is, there's going to be a vote. Seriously. The others get to _vote_ , on whether they want him on the team or not.

And when he tells Loki, he's like, “Well, it makes sense.”

Tony's like, “IT MAKES NO SENSE. I'm a founding member. Hell, they wouldn't have goddamn Avengers Tower, if it weren't for me.”

Loki's got the box of take-out open. – Imperial Hunan: Best Chinese food in Malibu. Cash only, but it's totally worth it. – He chopsticks out a pea pod and feeds it to Tony. “They're the ones who have to work with you, which must be difficult enough.” Out comes a mushroom, and into the waiting, Frost Giant mouth.

“Hey.” Grab the chopsticks. Make a dig in the box. “No fair, you know the shitake's are my favorite part.”

“Thank you for proving me right.” Steely Frost Giant fingers force him to give up the chopsticks. Out comes some chicken, then a water chestnut, and then another mushroom. This one goes to him. “You're egotistical, and demanding.” Soft, Frost Giant hair tickles his face, as Loki settles closer to him on the sofa. “And you have chosen the first foe your team ever fought, as a life partner...” – 

_Life Partner_. Is it wrong that the first thing he notices here, is that Loki uses the word? Before this, the furthest he's been willing to go has been “relationship”. – 

“Husband.” Tony opens his mouth like a baby bird, and Loki feeds him more chicken. “I told you, we're getting married.”

“You're also bossy.” Loki grabs two bites of stir fry in a row, for himself. “I'd say you should be grateful they needed a week to decide your fate. Many mortals would have been ready to exclude you right away, especially with... – Who was it, you said Fury suggested as your replacement?”

Pouty voice. Pouty, billionaire-voice. “Ant Man.”

Loki gives him a mushroom. “Pym's skills are formidable. I can see where your teammates might choose him over you.”

More pouts. More billionaire-pouts. “He can make himself small. Big deal.” Cuddle up closer to the Frost Giant. “Anyway, they could have both of us.”

“And they may still. You have no way of knowing what their decision will be.” Stir fry gone, Loki opens the box of dumplings. He spears one, takes a bite “Never fear” he says. “The suit is yours. Whatever happens, you are still Iron Man.”

Which is something, admittedly. He's still got the Mark 1.0. “Iron Man, and husband of Loki.” Tony opens his mouth for a dumpling.

Loki sighs. Gives him the next one. “And bossy in the extreme,” he says. But he heard that about “husband,” didn't he? And he didn't say no.


	17. Wedding Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is found that pumpkin-spices do _not_ improve a latte. ...Or maybe it's the whiskey.

Wedding. Surfing the internets, looking at flower arrangements... – All very girly. And with not enough red-and-gold. – ...Looking at cakes. Thinking, “White, _and_ chocolate, but not _white_ -chocolate, _real_ chocolate... That's impossible, right?”

Thinking: “Tuxedo. Loki looks so nice in a tuxedo, because remember the video from Stuttgart?” (And then having to push back the car-crash brain-spasm that follows, as he realizes he's using the Stuttgart video for fuckin' _clothing advice_ now.) Thinking, “Loki's bound to say yes, if I ask him enough times, and he'll wear a tuxedo, and I'll wear... Probably I'll wear the Mark 1.0.” (And then pushing back another brain-spasm, as he realizes that with The Avengers gone, all the suit's good for any more is for a wedding costume.)

And there is coffee next to his elbow. Latte with Pumpkin Spice-flavored whiskey, an invention of his own (that he is _not_ using to distract himself from The Avengers). And he takes a drink. And then he's like, “You know, it's not the whiskey that ruins this stuff, it's the pumpkin spice flavoring.”

And Loki's like, “Whiskey should not taste like pumpkin-spices.” He's like, “What are pumpkin-spices anyway? Lately you mortals seem to have added them to everything.”

And Tony's like, “Welcome to Fall, baby.” And he grabs the cup, and he takes a drink (and Pumpkin Spice-whiskey latte is still a car crash on your tongue). And he's like, “So, _now_ will you marry me?”

Loki's like, “For the last time...” Huff of disgruntled-Frost Giant breath, a huge huff, and then, “I have been thinking of returning to Asgard... Lately...”

Lately? Tony looks away from the screen (the two-male cake toppers were pretty ugly anyway) and stares at him. “Since when?”

And a big shrug, a vague, Frost Giant-shrug. “ _Lately_.” And a frown. “And I were not here, there'd be no impediment to your being an Avenger.” And another frown, like, almost a guilty one, like, he knows this is his fault.

Only is it? “SHIELD's never been too crazy about me,” Tony says. “I told you about the eval, didn't I?They were calling me a sociopath, and a lot of shit like that...”

Faint nod. “Narcissist, that's what you said.”

“Yeah, well that one's true.” Cake-toppers? Hell, Loki hasn't even said yes, yet. Flower arrangements? Photo-shoots? Either it's stress about losing The Avengers, or it's the goddamn pumpkin spices he went and dumped into this poor innocent latte, because suddenly Tony's stomach is twisting around like a sonuvabitch. And he's, like, over there with Loki, and he's like, “You know you going back to Asgard isn't going to change anything. I already screwed the pooch by being with you in the first place, that's what they're going to say. I showed I was 'untrustworthy,' or whatever... Can you imagine Clint agreeing to be on the same team with someone who fucked his worst enemy?”

And Loki's like, “Clint?”

“The one you mind-controlled.” And Tony's stomach is twisting and twisting. 

And Loki's like, “The fat physicist?”

And he's like, “The archer.”

“Oh, right, right, _of course_ ,” says the Frost Giant. And then he's like, “They _will_ let you stay, though. If I leave...” he says. “Because you gave them the Tower. And they must know you're still going to show up and fight whatever villains show up regardless.”

He will, yeah. That's part of being a superhero.

“It's not like they could stop _Iron Man_ ,” Loki says. And then he says, “But I had better go. I had rather you not have to be a... What is it called? A 'free-lancer'?”

Lace his fingers with the Frost Giant's. Frosty fingers, just a little bit cold. Sit down on the sofa and put your arm around him. Loki's a cuddly little Frost Giant, isn't he? “Like Luke Cage. Heroes for Hire.”

Soft Frost Giant-hair tickling his cheek, as Loki leans close. “Only you are very wealthy, I am sure you wouldn't charge.”

And Tony's like, “Don't go, Loki.” He's like, “I don't know if they'd let me back on the team or not, but I don't care. Losing you would be worse than losing The Avengers.”

The funny thing is, it's true. Thinking about being just _Iron Man_ again, just Iron Man, without a team that he works with, that's bad okay, but thinking about being Iron Man without Loki at home? That makes him feel sick.

“I never knew...” Loki's soft voice. “I thought Thor the biggest pretender, to lie and say you mortals were like us.” Faint laugh, like, a faint jerk of a laugh. “You are counted scarce more than animals in Asgard.”

He's told him that before. Anything to make the Asgardians look bad. “Ant meet boot, right?” Tony's own laugh, also pretty faint. “Fury's still holding a grudge about that.”

And Loki's nod. “Fa... Ah, _Odin_ has likened your kind to goats on occasion.” He's told Tony that before too. Anything, especially, to make Daddy-Odin look bad... (And, to be fair, there seems to be kind of a lot he can tell.) “What I'm trying to say...” Loki's talking again. “I mean, Tony...” A swallow, a sigh, and then, “What I did to your people is unforgivable,” he says, “and what I regret most, is that I did not e'en realize at the time, that I was doing it to men like myself.” Big pause... And another sigh. “To men I might one day love,” the Frost Giant says, and Tony's heart twists inside him.

Love... “Yeah, I love you too,” Tony says. “And people can change, you're not defined by your past, Loki.”

Another Frost Giant-sigh. “I just hope your Avengers understand that,” he says.


	18. The Avengers Make a Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tis the season for finishing WIPs. This is New-Chapter 18, because I never liked Old-Chapter 18 much, so I deleted it. A good month or so on the back-burner gave this story what I needed to write this bit, and the ending-bit that comes next.
> 
> \-- D

So yeah, so Chocovine. So if you don't know, it's this Dutch stuff. The label says, “red wine and chocolate,” and two great tastes, taste great together, am I right here? How could that not be good?

It's not, by the way. You tasted cough syrup? Or that $3.99 liqueur stuff, you find on the bottom shelf, because they're hoping you'll buy the Jaegermeister and Amaretto di Saronno instead? Try putting them together, then adding a big glug of cheap chocolate milk on top of that. ...So yeah, so they get it. They finish it too, don't judge, okay? Someone gets the idea of mixing the stuff with cocoa (Tony probably). It's a cold night, the stuff goes down, you get the idea.

And soft, soft, cuddly throw-blankets,on their soft, soft, cuddly sofa. And Loki's all soft and cuddly too, and he goes, “Tony, why do all our intimate moments have to be centered around drinking?”

And he's up, mixing more Chocovine, with more Swiss Miss, and he's like, “A lot of them are centered around sex, if you hadn't noticed.” 

And little snort (little, _judging_ snort). Loki grabs his cup, he guzzles the hell out of it like always, but he's all, “It can't possibly be healthy.” Loki has these weird ideas about what is and is not healthy for mortals. He hasn't figured out yet, that if any more of Tony's organs fail, he'll just build more Arc Reactors to replace them.

...See, it was Tony's brilliant idea that he would teach Loki to do the grocery shopping. He's just sitting around the house all the time, right? He's, like, _sitting there_ , doing nothing (except saying he won't marry people, and blocking all the wedding-design sites on Chrome). So Tony's like, “Trader Joe's. Westlake Village.”

Crowded parking lot... – It's a Trader Joe's, right? – Grocery cart, and they're going inside, past all the potted plants and flowers. And Loki's like, “You are a _billionaire_. Surely have someone to do this for you.”

Tony's like, “Have you _seen_ someone else doing it for me?” ~~Natalie~~ Natasha used to. Pep picked up the slack after that. She'd be all, “Well first I have to go to the Board meeting... – By the way, Tony, you're expected too. – And there's the invoices from Stark-Indonesia, and lunch with the ladies from the Foundation, I _think_ I can remember. Laundry soap and those individual Chicken Caesar Salads you like, right?” Yeah, the good old days. She won't do it any more. She says seeing Trojans on the list gives her a creepy feeling. And JARVIS isn't much use, he can't tell the difference between the good fruit and the bad fruit (and he never buys as much booze as Tony puts on the list. – Jesus, everyone and their ideas about _health_ ).

So yeah, so Trader Joe's. So they come home, now the fridge is full of salad. And Loki's got this cheese, this stuff labeled Gietost. He's like, “Oh Tony, it is a great Norse delicacy,” and he opens it up, gives Tony a big hunk. Stuff's even weirder than the Chocovine, if you want the truth, but you don't want to hurt a guy's feelings. Tony chews, he swallows. He's like, “So, will you marry me _now_?”

And Loki's nomming the Gietost (on top of a bunch of crackers that are also, apparently, “great Norse delicacies”), and he goes, “Oh, non sequiter, thy name is Tony Stark,” with his mouth full.

Tony's like, “Well, you did just give me cheese, we call that a proposal, here on Midgard.”

Loki gives him more cheese. He's like, “You're also not a very good liar.” And he kisses him, and he gives him more cheese. And after that some other stuff might have happened, Tony is not going to say they didn't spend the rest of the day in bed. (He's also not going to give details. Go watch porn, you perverts.) Eventually they get up. Loki's all, “There's nothing but _salad_ here, what are we going to have for dinner?” Salad, apparently, is _not_ a “great Norse delicacy.”

Well, that's when Cap shows up. JARVIS's voice: “It's Stephen Rogers, sir.”

Tony may or may not have said, “Tell him we're not home.” He's not going to commit on that one, but he and Loki were having an _important salad conversation_ at the time. You don't interrupt these things.

Anyway, Loki screwed it up, because he was all, “Oh, tell him to come in,” and JARVIS is calibrated to obey him too, so in he came.

Loki's like, “May I offer you something to eat? We have some salad.”

And Steve's all like, “Thanks but no thanks,” and he's like, “I only came here to deliver a message, we've made our decision.”

And Tony's like, “I stay, right?”

And Cap goes, “Oh yes yes, of course, because it's only logical, right? The Avengers would totally fall apart without you there.” – 

Okay, see here's the thing: Tony's, like, writing this all down here, right? Journaling. Scrapbook. Pepper's idea, she's all, “Best wedding present in the world, because it's _from the heart_ , Tony.” Best wedding present, hah! Aren't presents supposed to be a surprise? So why are certain people hanging over his shoulder, reading every word?

And if they're going to be there, why can't they keep their mouths shut? Loki's all, “Oh Tony, Tony, it didn't happen like that.” He's like, “That part's not true...” Finger against the page, like, a cute, Frost Giant-finger. “And that part...” Pointing again. “Oh, by Odin's beard, that is what you mortals call a 'whopper'!”

Certain nosy Frost Giants who will remain nameless. Let it be said right now, that Tony may have _massaged_ the truth a little, but that's only to make the story better. Let's face it, does any story really happen the way it's reported? Anyway, the important parts are all true. – 

...And so after that... Oh yeah, after that, Steve goes, “Natasha says she wants Loki where she can keep an eye on him. And of course Bruce is thrilled. And Fury too...” – 

Certain Frost Giants better get their asses out of here, and stop sniggering in their billionaire-lover's ear. That part did so happen. – 

Anyway, Steve's all like handshake, the whole Red-Blooded American, Mom-And-Apple-Pie nine yards and whatnot. He's all, “Oh Tony, it is _great_ to have you back, the _best_ member of the team, etc. etc.” – 

**Let this serve as reminder: Prolonged overuse of alcohol can cause memory loss in humans, or so my research shows. If this continues to be written with such inaccuracy, I _will_ take the steps necessary for your protection, Tony, do not test me.**

Umm, what was that? Somebody say something? Certain _Frost Giants_ I could mention are the kind who probably also snuck downstairs on Christmas morning and spied on Santa.

**Oh yes, your mortal 'Christmas'. A holiday originally created to foil Thor, and eradicate his presence in Midgard. How I _love_ it. ...You were saying?**

I was saying I'm still an Avenger. In _your_ scrapbook, that is _supposed_ to be a _surprise_. Isn't there something Frost Giant-y you could go and do for a while?

 **I can think of something we could both do. My understanding of the purpose of honeymoons...** – 

...So anyway, _where_ were we? _What_ happened after that? Probably not important, huh? The gist of it's here, all there is left is the details. Unless somebody wants to hear about the wedding? Or the proposal, or the rest of that happy horseshit? – 

**They _don't_. Tony, have I shown you my _female form_ before?** –

Nope, nothing else to tell, that's it, the end. Happy reading, folks.


	19. Scrapbook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which _certain genius billionaires I could mention,_ need help.

A _scrapbook_ should contain pictures. You mat them nicely, you write some amusing captions along the side. – Tony, what did you do with the gel pens I gave you, by the way? Because they don't seem to be anywhere (and they'd better not be connected with those markings on Loki's arms, that you said were Jotun tattoos). – This thing isn't a scrapbook. It's more like a diary/bartender's guide. _Marshmallow Vodka_? Seriously Tony? And _Chocovine_ (whatever the hell that is)? I'm going to leave out any comments about the Monster. At least Loki's stealing all of those nowadays, which is _way_ better than you drinking them all. Honestly, you'd think a certified _genius_ would know better than to pretend alcohol and caffeine “balance each other out”. I'm just glad they took the caffeine out of Four Loko, and you stopped asking me to buy _that_ for you.

...I'm not going to say anything about certain rude remarks you've made about yours truly in here, either. I know what having a broken heart is like; do _not_ get me started about some of the relationships I've had. That's all behind us now anyway, and we're friends again. And I'm awfully glad that my _friend_ Mr. Tony Stark had the good sense to show me this, before he gave it to Loki. I mean, oh my god, Tony! You are _not_ going to tell me that _this_ is how you want to remember your wedding? Tony, you of all people, are going to _need_ a proper scrapbook. I saw how much champagne you put away while we were in Vegas, you are _not_ going to tell me you remember much of what happened.

It wasn't bad, actually. I'll admit, I had reservations. You hear about Vegas weddings, they're always either really big and tacky, or they're these hole-and-corner affairs, that somebody did because they were drunk, and they couldn't stand living without Trixie or whatever, for another minute. This was nice. I never did hear about the proposal... – 

**And you're not going to, Pep. Deal.** – 

...But after that I was in on the whole thing. Tony came to me, he told me what he wanted. If you want the honest-to-god truth, it was a little like when I used to be his PA, and I might have gotten annoyed, only this was his _wedding_. Peoples' weddings should be nice. (By the way, if you're reading this, Harold, isn't it time we set a date?)

Funny requirements he had: He wanted a suit big enough for a giant. At first I thought he was inviting Bruce's “Other Guy.” ...Loki turned out not actually to be as big of a giant as I was expecting, but there were all these little _projecting_ places, all these _boney parts_ that Tony said had to show, because they indicated his rank or something like that. Fitting him like that, was a problem, I don't know why Tony didn't just have him keep his regular form. 

...He also wanted custom cake toppers (Tony, I mean, not Loki). He said it was important (I don't know why). I found this little guy over on the East Side that made them for him: A big blue groom, and a small bride in a red-and-gold suit. ...I don't know what happened to those. Tony, I hope you kept them? After all that champagne, you're going to need all the mementos you can get.

...Anyway, that was all the specifics he gave me. And I said, “Tony, where do you want it held?”

He said, “The wedding?” (Idiot.) 

I said, “Yes.”

He said (and these were his exact words): “Oh, I don't know, anywhere. Make it Vegas, for all I care.”

I pressed him for a while, and after a while he sort of locked up like he does. He said, “It _has_ to be Vegas. Make it Vegas, Pepper, and _get out of my face._ ”

Well Loki was right there, and he said, “If Tony wants Vegas, he shall have Vegas. ...By the way, what is this 'Vegas' of which you speak?” (You should have seen his face when he saw it for the first time, and realized what we'd been talking about!)

Well, I found a nice church, big enough to hold Tony's (few) friends, and all the Board members and the other guests I'd invited. I arranged for us to have limos _without_ celebrity impersonator-drivers, which is harder than you might think, in Vegas. I rented a hotel to hold everybody, and set up the party for afterward. I planned the menu (barquettes of crab mousse, beef consomme, diver scallops, free-range chicken, and a terrine of aubergines for the vegetarians, in case you're wondering), found _just the right cake_ , frosted all in white, and made sure to order enough champagne for everyone, _including_ Thor (which is a challenge, believe me!). 

Afterward, Tony came up and gave me a hug. He said he couldn't have done it without me (and that's when I knew he was really _over_ what happened between us, and am I glad!). And then after that... Well, I guess you're going to have to ask Tony, if you want to know more. From some of the pages in here, I don't think he'll have any problem giving you all the _lurid details_. Seriously, Tony, if you ever get off your current “Green Energy” fad? You could have a real career writing porn, just saying. ...Now, I'm going to use the _few pages you've left blank_ , and I'm going to _try_ to put in all your wedding pictures. Don't worry about the captions, I'll do those too (you would probably leave out all the important details). You can get me something nice as a thank-you, if you want.

...No, wait, you'd better have Loki do it. You'd probably get me _strawberries_ again (or a toy rabbit).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of readers who aren't up on scrapbooking-lingo: Matting is the name of the thing you do, where you put the picture on top of colored paper to make it look prettier, against the scrapbook page.


End file.
